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Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:

$ fortune | cowsay

 _________________________________________
/ Gentlemen,                              \
|                                         |
| Whilst marching from Portugal to a      |
| position which commands the approach to |
| Madrid and the French forces, my        |
| officers have been diligently complying |
| with your requests which have been sent |
| by H.M. ship from London to Lisbon and  |
| thence by dispatch to our headquarters. |
|                                         |
| We have enumerated our saddles,         |
| bridles, tents and tent poles, and all  |
| manner of sundry items for which His    |
| Majesty's Government holds me           |
| accountable. I have dispatched reports  |
| on the character, wit, and spleen of    |
| every officer. Each item and every      |
| farthing has been accounted for, with   |
| two regrettable exceptions for which I  |
| beg your indulgence.                    |
|                                         |
| Unfortunately the sum of one shilling   |
| and ninepence remains unaccounted for   |
| in one infantry battalion's petty cash  |
| and there has been a hideous confusion  |
| as the the number of jars of raspberry  |
| jam issued to one cavalry regiment      |
| during a sandstorm in western Spain.    |
| This reprehensible carelessness may be  |
| related to the pressure of              |
| circumstance, since we are war with     |
| France, a fact which may come as a bit  |
| of a surprise to you gentlemen in       |
| Whitehall.                              |
|                                         |
| This brings me to my present purpose,   |
| which is to request elucidation of my   |
| instructions from His Majesty's         |
| Government so that I may better         |
| understand why I am dragging an army    |
| over these barren plains. I construe    |
| that perforce it must be one of two     |
| alternative duties, as given below. I   |
| shall pursue either one with the best   |
| of my ability, but I cannot do both:    |
|                                         |
| 1. To train an army of uniformed        |
| British clerks in Spain for the benefit |
| of the accountants and copy-boys in     |
| London or perchance:                    |
|                                         |
| 2. To see to it that the forces of      |
| Napoleon are driven out of Spain.       |
|                                         |
| -- Duke of Wellington, to the British   |
| Foreign Office,                         |
|                                         |
\ London, 1812                            /
 -----------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||

Here is the PHP code:

$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay");
echo $output;