Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:
$ fortune | cowsay
_________________________________________
/ "Emergency!" Sgiggs screamed, ejecting \
| himself from the tub like it was a |
| burning car. "Dial 'one'! Get room |
| service! Code red!" Stiggs was on the |
| phone immediately, ordering more rose |
| blossoms, because, according to him, |
| the ones floating in the tub had |
| suddenly lost their smell. "I demand |
| smell," he shrilled. "I expecting total |
| uninterrupted smell from these f*cking |
| roses." |
| |
| Unfortunately, the service captain |
| didn't realize that the Stiggs |
| situation involved fifty roses. "What |
| am I going to do with this?" Stiggs |
| sneered at the weaseling hotel goon |
| when he appeared at our door holding a |
| single flower floating in a brandy |
| glass. Stiggs's tirade was great. "Do |
| you see this bathtub? Do you notice any |
| difference between the size of the tub |
| and the size of that spindly wad of |
| petals in your hand? I need total bath |
| coverage. I need a completely solid |
| layer of roses all around me like |
| puffing factories of smell, attacking |
| me with their smell and power-ramming |
| big stinking concentrations of rose |
| odor up my nostrils until I'm wasted |
| with pleasure." It wasn't long before |
| we got so dissatisfied with this |
| incompetence that we bolted. -- The |
| Utterly Monstrous, Mind-Roasting Summer |
| of O.C. and Stiggs, |
| |
\ National Lampoon, October 1982 /
-----------------------------------------
\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay");
echo $output;