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Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:

$ fortune | cowsay

 _________________________________________
/ HOGAN'S HEROES DRINKING GAME --         \
|                                         |
| Take a shot every time:                 |
|                                         |
| -- Sergeant Schultz says, "I            |
| knoooooowww nooooothing!" -- General    |
| Burkhalter or Major Hochstetter         |
| intimidate/insult Colonel Klink. --     |
| Colonel Klink falls for Colonel Hogan's |
| flattery. -- One of the prisoners       |
| sneaks out of camp (one shot for each   |
| prisoner to go). -- Colonel Klink snaps |
| to attention after answering the phone  |
| (two shots                              |
|                                         |
| if it's one of our heroes on the other  |
| end). -- One of the Germans is          |
| threatened with being sent to the       |
| Russian front. -- Corporal Newkirk      |
| calls up a German in his phoney German  |
| accent, and                             |
|                                         |
| tricks him (two shots if it's Colonel   |
| Klink). -- Hogan has a romantic         |
| interlude with a beautiful girl from    |
| the underground. -- Colonel Klink       |
| relates how he's never had an escape    |
| from Stalag 13. -- Sergeant Schultz     |
| gives up a secret (two shots if he's    |
| bribed with food). -- The prisoners     |
| listen to the Germans' conversation by  |
| a hidden transmitter. -- Sergeant       |
| Schultz "captures" one of the prisoners |
| after an escape. -- Lebeau pronounces   |
| "colonel" as "cuh-loh-`nell". -- Carter |
| builds some kind of device (two shots   |
| if it's not explosive). -- Lebeau wears |
| his apron. -- Hogan says "We've got no  |
| choice" when someone claims that the    |
| plan is                                 |
|                                         |
| impossible.                             |
|                                         |
| -- The prisoners capture an important   |
\ German, and sneak him out the tunnel.   /
 -----------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||

Here is the PHP code:

$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay");
echo $output;