Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:
$ fortune | cowsay
_________________________________________
/ It is always preferable to visit home \
| with a friend. Your parents will not be |
| pleased with this plan, because they |
| want you all to themselves and because |
| in the presence of your friend, they |
| will have to act like mature human |
| beings. |
| |
| The worst kind of friend to take home |
| is a girl, because in that case, there |
| is the potential that your parents will |
| lose you not just for the duration of |
| the visit but forever. The worst kind |
| of girl to take home is one of a |
| different religion: Not only will you |
| be lost to your parents forever but you |
| will be lost to a woman who is immune |
| to their religious/moral arguments and |
| whose example will irretrievably |
| corrupt you. |
| |
| Let's say you've fallen in love with |
| just such a girl and would like to take |
| her home for the holidays. You are |
| aware of your parents' xenophobic |
| response to anyone of a different |
| religion. How to prepare them for the |
| shock? |
| |
| Simple. Call them up shortly before |
| your visit and tell them that you have |
| gotten quite serious about somebody who |
| is of a different religion, a different |
| race and the same sex. Tell them you |
| have already invited this person to |
| meet them. Give the information a |
| moment to sink in and then remark that |
| you were only kidding, that your lover |
| is merely of a different religion. They |
| will be so relieved they will welcome |
| her with open arms. |
| |
\ -- Playboy, January, 1983 /
-----------------------------------------
\ ^__^
\ (oo)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
||----w |
|| ||
$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay");
echo $output;