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Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:

$ fortune | cowsay

 _______________________________________
/ But modifying dpkg is infeasible, and \
| we've agreed to, among other things,  |
| keep the needs of our users at the    |
| forefront of our minds. And from a    |
| user's perspective, something that    |
| keeps the system tidy in the normal   |
| case, and works *now*, is much better |
| than idealistic fantasies like a      |
| working dpkg.                         |
|                                       |
\ -- Manoj Srivastava                   /
 ---------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||

Here is the PHP code:

$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay");
echo $output;