Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:
$ fortune | cowsay _________________________________________ / The Least Successful Executions \ | | | History has furnished us with two | | executioners worthy of attention. The | | first performed in Sydney in Australia. | | In 1803 three attempts were made to | | hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels. On the first | | two of these the rope snapped, while on | | the third Mr. Samuels just hung there | | peacefully until he and everyone else | | got bored. Since he had proved | | unsusceptible to capital punishment, he | | was reprieved. | | | | The most important British executioner | | was Mr. James Berry who tried three | | times in 1885 to hang Mr. John Lee at | | Exeter Jail, but on each occasion | | failed to get the trap door open. | | | | In recognition of this achievement, the | | Home Secretary commuted Lee's sentence | | to "life" imprisonment. He was released | | in 1917, emigrated to America and lived | | until 1933. | | | | -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic | \ Failures" / ----------------------------------------- \ ^__^ \ (oo)\_______ (__)\ )\/\ ||----w | || ||
$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay"); echo $output;