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Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:


$ fortune | cowsay

 _________________________________________
/ You should tip the waiter $10, minus $2 \
| if he tells you his name, another $2 if |
| he claims it will be His Pleasure to    |
| serve you and another $2 for each       |
| "special" he describes involving        |
| confusing terms such as "shallots," and |
| $4 if the menu contains the word        |
| "fixin's." In many restaurants, this    |
| means the waiter will actually owe you  |
| money. If you are traveling with a      |
| child aged six months to three years,   |
| you should leave an additional amount   |
| equal to twice the bill to compensate   |
| for the fact that they will have to     |
| take the banquette out and burn it      |
| because the cracks are wedged solid     |
| with gobbets made of partially chewed   |
| former restaurant rolls saturated with  |
| baby spit.                              |
|                                         |
| In New York, tip the taxicab driver $40 |
| if he does not mention his hemorrhoids. |
|                                         |
\ -- Dave Barry, "The Stuff of Etiquette" /
 -----------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||


Here is the PHP code:
$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay");
echo $output;