Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:
$ fortune | cowsay _________________________________________ / curtation, n.: \ | | | The enforced compression of a string in | | the fixed-length field environment. | | | | The problem of fitting extremely | | variable-length strings such as names, | | addresses, and item descriptions into | | fixed-length records is no trivial | | matter. Neglect of the subtle art of | | curtation has probably alienated more | | people than any other aspect of data | | processing. You order Mozart's "Don | | Giovanni" from your record club, and | | they invoice you $24.95 for MOZ DONG. | | The witless mapping of the sublime onto | | the ridiculous! Equally puzzling is the | | curtation that produces the same eight | | characters, THE BEST, whether you order | | "The Best of Wagner", "The Best of | | Schubert", or "The Best of the Turds". | | Similarly, wine lovers buying from | | computerized wineries twirl their | | glasses, check their delivery notes, | | and inform their friends, "A rather | | innocent, possibly overtruncated CAB | | SAUV 69 TAL." The squeezing of fruit | | into 10 columns has yielded such | | memorable obscenities as COX OR PIP. | | The examples cited are real, and the | | curtational methodology which produced | | them is still with us. | | | | MOZ DONG n. | | | | Curtation of Don Giovanni by Wolfgang | | Amadeus Mozart and Lorenzo da Ponte, as | | performed by the computerized billing | | ensemble of the Internat'l Preview | | Society, Great Neck (sic), N.Y. | | | | -- Stan Kelly-Bootle, "The Devil's DP | \ Dictionary" / ----------------------------------------- \ ^__^ \ (oo)\_______ (__)\ )\/\ ||----w | || ||
$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay"); echo $output;