Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:
$ fortune | cowsay _________________________________________ / It is always preferable to visit home \ | with a friend. Your parents will not be | | pleased with this plan, because they | | want you all to themselves and because | | in the presence of your friend, they | | will have to act like mature human | | beings. | | | | The worst kind of friend to take home | | is a girl, because in that case, there | | is the potential that your parents will | | lose you not just for the duration of | | the visit but forever. The worst kind | | of girl to take home is one of a | | different religion: Not only will you | | be lost to your parents forever but you | | will be lost to a woman who is immune | | to their religious/moral arguments and | | whose example will irretrievably | | corrupt you. | | | | Let's say you've fallen in love with | | just such a girl and would like to take | | her home for the holidays. You are | | aware of your parents' xenophobic | | response to anyone of a different | | religion. How to prepare them for the | | shock? | | | | Simple. Call them up shortly before | | your visit and tell them that you have | | gotten quite serious about somebody who | | is of a different religion, a different | | race and the same sex. Tell them you | | have already invited this person to | | meet them. Give the information a | | moment to sink in and then remark that | | you were only kidding, that your lover | | is merely of a different religion. They | | will be so relieved they will welcome | | her with open arms. | | | \ -- Playboy, January, 1983 / ----------------------------------------- \ ^__^ \ (oo)\_______ (__)\ )\/\ ||----w | || ||
$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay"); echo $output;