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Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:


$ fortune | cowsay

 _________________________________________
/  It is always preferable to visit home  \
| with a friend. Your parents will not be |
| pleased with this plan, because they    |
| want you all to themselves and because  |
| in the presence of your friend, they    |
| will have to act like mature human      |
| beings.                                 |
|                                         |
| The worst kind of friend to take home   |
| is a girl, because in that case, there  |
| is the potential that your parents will |
| lose you not just for the duration of   |
| the visit but forever. The worst kind   |
| of girl to take home is one of a        |
| different religion: Not only will you   |
| be lost to your parents forever but you |
| will be lost to a woman who is immune   |
| to their religious/moral arguments and  |
| whose example will irretrievably        |
| corrupt you.                            |
|                                         |
| Let's say you've fallen in love with    |
| just such a girl and would like to take |
| her home for the holidays. You are      |
| aware of your parents' xenophobic       |
| response to anyone of a different       |
| religion. How to prepare them for the   |
| shock?                                  |
|                                         |
| Simple. Call them up shortly before     |
| your visit and tell them that you have  |
| gotten quite serious about somebody who |
| is of a different religion, a different |
| race and the same sex. Tell them you    |
| have already invited this person to     |
| meet them. Give the information a       |
| moment to sink in and then remark that  |
| you were only kidding, that your lover  |
| is merely of a different religion. They |
| will be so relieved they will welcome   |
| her with open arms.                     |
|                                         |
\ -- Playboy, January, 1983               /
 -----------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||


Here is the PHP code:
$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay");
echo $output;