Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:
$ fortune | cowsay _________________________________________ / Festivity Level 1: Your guests are \ | chatting amiably with each other, | | admiring your Christmas-tree ornaments, | | singing carols around the upright | | piano, sipping at their drinks and | | nibbling hors d'oeuvres. | | | | Festivity Level 2: Your guests are | | talking loudly -- sometimes to each | | other, and sometimes to nobody at all, | | rearranging your Christmas-tree | | ornaments, singing "I Gotta Be Me" | | around the upright piano, gulping their | | drinks and wolfing down hors d'oeuvres. | | | | Festivity Level 3: Your guests are | | arguing violently with inanimate | | objects, singing "I can't get no | | satisfaction," gulping down other | | peoples' drinks, wolfing down Christmas | | tree ornaments and placing hors | | d'oeuvres in the upright piano to see | | what happens when the little hammers | | strike. | | | | Festivity Level 4: Your guests, hors | | d'oeuvres smeared all over their naked | | bodies are performing a ritual dance | | around the burning Christmas tree. The | | piano is missing. | | | | You want to keep your party somewhere | | around level 3, unless you rent your | | home and own Firearms, in which case | | you can go to level 4. The best way to | \ get to level 3 is egg-nog. / ----------------------------------------- \ ^__^ \ (oo)\_______ (__)\ )\/\ ||----w | || ||
$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay"); echo $output;