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Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:


$ fortune | cowsay

 _________________________________________
/ The Worst Prison Guards                 \
|                                         |
| The largest number of convicts ever to  |
| escape simultaneously from a maximum    |
| security prison is 124. This record is  |
| held by Alcoente Prison, near Lisbon in |
| Portugal.                               |
|                                         |
| During the weeks leading up to the      |
| escape in July 1978 the prison warders  |
| had noticed that attendances had fallen |
| at film shows which included "The Great |
| Escape", and also that 220 knives and a |
| huge quantity of electric cable had     |
| disappeared. A guard explained, "Yes,   |
| we were planning to look for them, but  |
| never got around to it." The warders    |
| had not, however, noticed the gaping    |
| holes in the wall because they were     |
| "covered with posters". Nor did they    |
| detect any of the spades, chisels,      |
| water hoses and electric drills amassed |
| by the inmates in large quantities. The |
| night before the breakout one guard had |
| noticed that of the 36 prisoners in his |
| block only 13 were present. He said     |
| this was "normal" because inmates       |
| sometimes missed roll-call or hid, but  |
| usually came back the next morning.     |
|                                         |
| "We only found out about the escape at  |
| 6:30 the next morning when one of the   |
| prisoners told us," a warder said       |
| later. [...] When they eventually       |
| checked, the prison guards found that   |
| exactly half of the gaol's population   |
| was missing. By way of explanation the  |
| Justice Minister, Dr. Santos Pais,      |
| claimed that the escape was "normal"    |
| and part of the "legitimate desire of   |
| the prisoner to regain his liberty."    |
|                                         |
| -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic    |
\ Failures"                               /
 -----------------------------------------
        \   ^__^
         \  (oo)\_______
            (__)\       )\/\
                ||----w |
                ||     ||


Here is the PHP code:
$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay");
echo $output;