Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:
$ fortune | cowsay _________________________________________ / The Worst Prison Guards \ | | | The largest number of convicts ever to | | escape simultaneously from a maximum | | security prison is 124. This record is | | held by Alcoente Prison, near Lisbon in | | Portugal. | | | | During the weeks leading up to the | | escape in July 1978 the prison warders | | had noticed that attendances had fallen | | at film shows which included "The Great | | Escape", and also that 220 knives and a | | huge quantity of electric cable had | | disappeared. A guard explained, "Yes, | | we were planning to look for them, but | | never got around to it." The warders | | had not, however, noticed the gaping | | holes in the wall because they were | | "covered with posters". Nor did they | | detect any of the spades, chisels, | | water hoses and electric drills amassed | | by the inmates in large quantities. The | | night before the breakout one guard had | | noticed that of the 36 prisoners in his | | block only 13 were present. He said | | this was "normal" because inmates | | sometimes missed roll-call or hid, but | | usually came back the next morning. | | | | "We only found out about the escape at | | 6:30 the next morning when one of the | | prisoners told us," a warder said | | later. [...] When they eventually | | checked, the prison guards found that | | exactly half of the gaol's population | | was missing. By way of explanation the | | Justice Minister, Dr. Santos Pais, | | claimed that the escape was "normal" | | and part of the "legitimate desire of | | the prisoner to regain his liberty." | | | | -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic | \ Failures" / ----------------------------------------- \ ^__^ \ (oo)\_______ (__)\ )\/\ ||----w | || ||
$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay"); echo $output;