Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:
$ fortune | cowsay _________________________________________ / "Emergency!" Sgiggs screamed, ejecting \ | himself from the tub like it was a | | burning car. "Dial 'one'! Get room | | service! Code red!" Stiggs was on the | | phone immediately, ordering more rose | | blossoms, because, according to him, | | the ones floating in the tub had | | suddenly lost their smell. "I demand | | smell," he shrilled. "I expecting total | | uninterrupted smell from these f*cking | | roses." | | | | Unfortunately, the service captain | | didn't realize that the Stiggs | | situation involved fifty roses. "What | | am I going to do with this?" Stiggs | | sneered at the weaseling hotel goon | | when he appeared at our door holding a | | single flower floating in a brandy | | glass. Stiggs's tirade was great. "Do | | you see this bathtub? Do you notice any | | difference between the size of the tub | | and the size of that spindly wad of | | petals in your hand? I need total bath | | coverage. I need a completely solid | | layer of roses all around me like | | puffing factories of smell, attacking | | me with their smell and power-ramming | | big stinking concentrations of rose | | odor up my nostrils until I'm wasted | | with pleasure." It wasn't long before | | we got so dissatisfied with this | | incompetence that we bolted. -- The | | Utterly Monstrous, Mind-Roasting Summer | | of O.C. and Stiggs, | | | \ National Lampoon, October 1982 / ----------------------------------------- \ ^__^ \ (oo)\_______ (__)\ )\/\ ||----w | || ||
$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay"); echo $output;