Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:
$ fortune | cowsay _________________________________________ / -- Gifts for Men -- \ | | | Men are amused by almost any idiot | | thing -- that is why professional ice | | hockey is so popular -- so buying gifts | | for them is easy. But you should never | | buy them clothes. Men believe they | | already have all the clothes they will | | ever need, and new ones make them | | nervous. For example, your average man | | has 84 ties, but he wears, at most, | | only three of them. He has learned, | | through humiliating trial and error, | | that if he wears any of the other 81 | | ties, his wife will probably laugh at | | him ("You're not going to wear THAT tie | | with that suit, are you?"). So he has | | narrowed it down to three safe ties, | | and has gone several years without | | being laughed at. If you give him a new | | tie, he will pretend to like it, but | | deep inside he will hate you. | | | | If you want to give a man something | | practical, consider tires. More than | | once, I would have gladly traded all | | the gifts I got for a new set of tires. | | | | -- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A | \ Survivor's Guide" / ----------------------------------------- \ ^__^ \ (oo)\_______ (__)\ )\/\ ||----w | || ||
$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay"); echo $output;