Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:
$ fortune | cowsay _________________________________________ / Dear Emily: \ | | | I'm having a serious disagreement with | | somebody on the net. I tried complaints | | to his sysadmin, organizing mail | | campaigns, called for his removal from | | the net and phoning his employer to get | | him fired. Everybody laughed at me. | | What can I do? | | | | -- A Concerned Citizen | | | | Dear Concerned: | | | | Go to the daily papers. Most modern | | reporters are top-notch computer | | experts who will understand the net, | | and your problems, perfectly. They will | | print careful, reasoned stories without | | any errors at all, and surely represent | | the situation properly to the public. | | The public will also all act wisely, as | | they are also fully cognizant of the | | subtle nature of net society. | | | | Papers never sensationalize or distort, | | so be sure to point out things like | | racism and sexism wherever they might | | exist. Be sure as well that they | | understand that all things on the net, | | particularly insults, are meant | | literally. Link what transpires on the | | net to the causes of the Holocaust, if | | possible. If regular papers won't take | | the story, go to a tabloid paper -- | | they are always interested in good | | stories. | | | | By arranging all this free publicity | | for the net, you'll become very well | | known. People on the net will wait in | | eager anticipation for your every | | posting, and refer to you constantly. | | You'll get more mail than you ever | | dreamed possible -- the ultimate in net | | success. | | | | -- Emily Postnews Answers Your | \ Questions on Netiquette / ----------------------------------------- \ ^__^ \ (oo)\_______ (__)\ )\/\ ||----w | || ||
$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay"); echo $output;