Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:
$ fortune | cowsay _________________________________________ / HARVARD: Quarterback: \ | | | Sophomore Dave Strewzinski... likes to | | pass. And pass he does, with a record | | 86 attempts (three completions) in 87 | | plays.... Though Strewzinksi has so far | | failed to score any points for the | | Crimson, his jackrabbit speed has made | | him the least sacked quarterback in the | | Ivy league. Wide Receiver: | | | | The other directional signal in | | Harvard's offensive machine is senior | | Phil Yip, who is very fast. Yip is so | | fast that he has set a record for being | | fast. Expect to see Yip elude all | | pursuers and make it into the endzone | | five or six times, his average for a | | game. Yip, nicknamed "fumblefingers" | | and "you asshole" by his teammates, | | hopes to carry the ball with him at | | least one of those times. YALE: | | Defense: | | | | On the defensive side, Yale boasts the | | stingiest line in the Ivies. Primarily | | responsible are seniors Izzy "Shylock" | | Bloomberg and Myron Finklestein, the | | tightest ends in recent Eli history. | | Also contributing to the powerful | | defense is junior tackle Angus | | MacWhirter, a Scotsman who rounds out | | the offensive ethnic joke. Look for | | these three to shut down the opening | | coin toss. | | | | -- Harvard Lampoon 1988 Program Parody, | \ distributed at The Game / ----------------------------------------- \ ^__^ \ (oo)\_______ (__)\ )\/\ ||----w | || ||
$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay"); echo $output;