Enjoy a randomly generated fortune:
$ fortune | cowsay _________________________________________ / A reader reports that when the patient \ | died, the attending doctor recorded the | | following on the patient's chart: | | "Patient failed to fulfill his wellness | | potential." | | | | Another doctor reports that in a recent | | issue of the *American Journal of | | Family Practice* fleas were called | | "hematophagous arthropod vectors." | | | | A reader reports that the Army calls | | them "vertically deployed anti- | | personnel devices." You probably call | | them bombs. | | | | At McClellan Air Force base in | | Sacramento, California, civilian | | mechanics were placed on "non-duty, | | non-pay status." That is, they were | | fired. | | | | After taking the trip of a lifetime, | | our reader sent his twelve rolls of | | film to Kodak for developing (or | | "processing," as Kodak likes to call | | it) only to receive the following | | notice: "We must report that during the | | handling of your twelve 35mm Kodachrome | | slide orders, the films were involved | | in an unusual laboratory experience." | | The use of the passive is a | | particularly nice touch, don't you | | think? Nobody did anything to the | | films; they just had a bad experience. | | Of course our reader can always go back | | to Tibet and take his pictures all over | | again, using the twelve replacement | | rolls Kodak so generously sent him. | | | | -- Quarterly Review of Doublespeak | \ (NCTE) / ----------------------------------------- \ ^__^ \ (oo)\_______ (__)\ )\/\ ||----w | || ||
$output = shell_exec("/usr/games/fortune | /usr/games/cowsay"); echo $output;